“Anxiety shows that we are way to close to the world and too far from God.” -John Piper
When our self worth and confidence is low, our anxiety tends to be high. You spend time worrying and being fixated on how others view you, about who you are, and about what you are doing with your life. I’ve been there! Constantly comparing myself to others and feeling unworthy. It wasn’t until I finally realized my true identity that I learned to value and feel confident about who I was. Here is how you can also find your self worth and confidence when you are experiencing feelings of low self worth.
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What Does Your Self Worth Rely On?
Feelings of low self worth stem from not knowing or being comfortable with who you are. As women (and people in general) we long to “find ourselves” and seek out our true identity. When we are asked about who we are, we might reply based around our careers and relationships.
“I am a nurse.”
“I am a lawyer.”
“I am a mother.”
Many women today rely their self worth on what type of career they obtain, as more and more women seek high status jobs and careers. Along with career and status, women still heavily rely their self worth on their beauty and physical appearance. Even as the self love and self acceptance movement grows more and more, women still throw tons of money at the beauty industry to try to improve themselves.
It’s no surprise or news that we care about our appearance. In fact, there isn’t even anything wrong with that. On the contrary, I think it’s a good thing that someone would want to look and feel their best. Also, I am not ashamed that I not only want to look good for myself, but for my husband as well. So the problem isn’t necessarily that women want to look good. The problem is when women care so much about their appearance, that it becomes an obsession and their self worth relies on it. Just like your self worth shouldn’t rely on your appearance, it also shouldn’t rely on your career or status.
“God hasn’t called us to be successful, just faithful.” Mother Teresa
Self Worth & Confidence in Christ Alone
The most beautiful thing a woman can wear is not on her physical body, but lies in her heart and soul. Okay, okay, I know your probably rolling your eyes as if you haven’t heard this before. But it’s so TRUE. By the way, I am not just talking about being nice and doing good things. I am talking about finding your identity in Christ and being confident in Him and the way he made you. Think of Psalm 139:14:
“I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well.”
This alone should tell you a lot about your self worth and how you should view yourself. Let me share with you some tips on how to improve your self confidence through Christ alone.
1. Get to the Root of the Issue
The first step to finding your self worth and confidence through Christ alone is to get to a root of the issue and address it. Why are you feeling these feelings of low self worth? What are you mostly insecure about?
Personally, before I came to Christ about my problems, I was dealing with an eating disorder and feeling insecure about my career choice and my role as a wife. I cared deeply about my appearance and was obsessed with the gym. I was also way too fixated on my career and feeling unnecessarily anxious about what the heck I was doing with my life (career wise). Looking back, I wasn’t happy with the choices I was making and was only making them because I thought I had to in order to feel like I was worthy and successful. Silly, isn’t it? I was trying to find my identity in all these worldly things, which left me feeling tired and empty.
2. Find Your Identity
Speaking of struggling to find your identity in this world, my second point is to find your identity in Christ. As Christians, God has called us out and redeemed us from sin and the ways of the world. God is forgiving, loving, caring, but above all things He is holy and just.
God doesn’t look down on us when we aren’t successful enough, pretty enough, or skinny enough. He calls us to be faithful and obedient, and you were designed to bring Him glory. As Christians, this should be our main priority. We find joy and freedom in Christ, not in the things of the world. When you find your identity in Christ, you will realize that He made you the way you are for a reason! God gives us all strengths and weaknesses and we are all different, therefore we do not need to compare ourselves to others. As women, we often tear each other down, willingly or unwillingly. We get competitive and judge those who aren’t as “successful”. You are just as worthy as a stay-at-home-mom as you would be a CEO. We each have different roles, whether in the workplace or at home tending our homes and families.
3. Seek a Relationship With God
If you aren’t a Christian or have a relationship with God, know that there is nothing you have done that he won’t forgive. It is never too late to seek Him as long as we are still on this Earth and you are still alive. If you are interested in having a relationship with God, I suggest diving into His word. The Bible is the living, breathing word of God and is sufficient. I suggest starting with the book of Psalms, Proverbs, or Ecclesiastes, just because these were the books I would read when I first starting reading the Bible. Don’t get caught up about understanding everything right away, just pray about it and God will reveal it to you and work in your heart.
I also highly recommend the book You’re Not Enough (And That’s Okay) Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self Love by Allie Beth Stuckey. She dives deep into how self love just isn’t enough and how we need Christ in order to be enough. We are not enough on our own, only through Christ. He is where our confidence and self worth should lie.
Sincerely,
Denise XOXO
